1. Get some Gerbil Feed, or some other type of small rodent food, available at most any pet store. 2. Mash up the food pellets into a fine powder (about the consistancy of beach sand). The best way to do this is to put the pellets in a bag, and then beat the hell out of those bitches (pretend like they're Nancy Reagan for more fun!) with a hammer. If you live near a major highway, you can just scatter them around, and then come by later with a shovel. 3. Put this powder into a jar (Jiff Peanut Butter jars work best, but Peter Pan will do just fine). Get some model glue, the kind in tubes, and squirt out a bunch of it into your hand. Spread it out evenly over all your fingers, and then stick your hands into the jar. Move your hands around a lot in the jar so that the glue is well mixed with the powder. Go into a spasm, this should shake all the glue off your hands. 4. Fill the rest of the jar up with gasoline(available at most any gas station.) 5. Put a long fuse into it. If you're brave (and a bit stupid), you can just drop a match into it.
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