Today's lesson: MORE KRAZY GLUE TRICKS!!!

Well, you couldn't get enough of those demonic Krazy Glue stunts of Pranks 1
and 3, and so here it is: Pranks 7, More Krazy Glue tricks!
I trust you will find these every bit as useful and evil as the ones before
them!


Before I begin, though, a good idea is to memorize all my pranks files, and all
the other anarchy files you may read, so that you know all of the tricks by
heart and can plot a course of revenge for any situation. Arm yourself with
Krazy Glue, sandpaper, an X-acto knife, and a banana, and you are ready to set
up shop in your own little underground business. If someone wants someone
fucked over, they come to you, tell you their problem, and you come up with a
suitable course of action. Charge a certain amount for a given task, so, say,
five bucks for a simple well-placed drop of Krazy Glue, twenty to completely
Krazy Glue a car shut! You could make a fair bit of money just for knowing
lots of ways to help your buddies by fucking up their enemies!

Anyway, on with the Krazy Glue Tricks!


- Ever resent that high-school teacher who always brings a cup of coffee to
class, while you may not? Well, see how he enjoys his Sanka with the cup
Krazy Glued to his desk!!!

- Go into a drugstore and make those pill bottles REALLY child-proof by
Krazy Gluing the lids on.

- More on Dead Disk Drives:
Remember the Krazy-Glued disk (can't rotate)? Or the sandpaper disk (ends
heads)? Well, here's how you can combine the best features of those 2 tricks:
Take a dead diskette. Place a few drops of Krazy Glue on the disk surface,
allow to completely harden. Rotate the disk about 30 degrees or so until the
hard drops are out of the way. Place more drops on the disk, let harden,
rotate again. Continue until you have gone all the way arouund the disk.
Now, rotate the disk so that no drops are visible. Now, someone expecting a
sandpaper diskette will find nothing, and will merrily place this mystery
diskette in the drive (remember to plant it next to a school or enemy
computer, with a label saying "new wares-do not give out"), and the bumps on
the disk will destroy the head. They say a grain of salt can destroy a head;
can you imagine what many lumps 2mm high of one of the world's hardest
plastics will do????????

- In your local library, do the following:
Krazy Glue microfiche into fiche readers.
Krazy Glue other microfiche into whatever sleeves or slots they rest in.
Krazy Glue card catalog drawers SHUT.
If there are Computer catalog terminals, Krazy Glue the brightness knobs
to MINIMUM. Apply other terminal-related Krazy Glue Tricks, as well.
Krazy Glue the photocopier's canopy down.
Krazy Glue books to shelves.
Krazy Glue pornographic pictures into the pages of children's books,
religious books, and any books you HATE.


- See how badly you can make a record skip with hardened Krazy Glue on its
surface.

- Similarly, see how efficient a CD is that way.

- In winter, Krazy Glue the chains on an enemy's car to his tires. He won't
notice until it's time to take them off!!!

- In church: Krazy Glue the pulpit mike gain on MAX, so there is LOTS of
feedback and the sermon is ruined!

- Restaurants: Krazy Glue salt, pepper, and sugar shakers to the table.

- Krazy Glue their lids on so they cannot be re-filled.

- Plug up the holes in salt & pepper shakers with Krazy Glue.

- Krazy Glue the waitress' tip onto the table.

- Go into the can of a restaurant. If there is a rubber dispenser then jam it
up good with Krazy Glue.

- How to fry a printer motor: Krazy Glue the Print Head into any given
position. Also fun to Krazy Glue the ribbon in place. And the paper feed.

- Krazy Gluing cereal boxes and other supermarket items to the shelf is always
fun, but taking an x-acto knife and cutting the bottoms out of these is even
more so.

- If you find a bank machine card and are too chicken to try and take money
out of the guy's account, then at least put a drop or 2 of Krazy Glue onto
the magnetic stripe before putting it in the bank's mail slot, so that
(a) the machine can't read it, and
(b) the machine's read head gets fried.

- This brings me to another trick (non-Krazy Glue...). Remember the Sandpaper
diskette? Attach a piece of sandpaper to a dead credit card, bank card,
or other type of machine-read card. Then try inserting it in a bank machine.
Naturally the machine can't read the card, and if you do this a few times,
soon the machine won't be able to read anything!!

- NEXT TIME YOUR DAD TRIES TO MAKE YOU MOW THE LAWN, wouldn't it be a shame
if the lawnmower won't start? Krazy Gluing several strategic places can cause
just such an occurrence...
Try spark plug tips, the pull cable, the wheel axles, the blade axle, and
many other neato spots!



Well, I have gone over 200 (40-col) lines now, so it looks like that's another
phile. Thanx to the Locksmith and Clone Master for being truly sick-minded
people. PRANKS 8 is coming soon, but I got no idea what's gonna be on it.
Probably not Krazy Glue tricks.


This File: School Phun 4, aka "College Phun!!!!"

Thanxz to the Locksmith and other MegaDeath members for various ideas and
input.

Well, here it is, the First ever COLLEGE PHUN tutorial!
Here we discuss institutional hell-raising on a post-secondary level for those
who for whatever reason do not belong to a frat (the normal, respected source
of activities of this nature).


- Let's start with "Computing Services". One of the neatest places you can piss
people off is in the terminal room of your local U. The Classic Krazy Glue in
the keyboards goes over well, and so does Krazy Gluing the Terminal
brightness knobs on minimum (which means OFF). Another neato is to remove
the "anti-glare" coating from monitor screens. If there is necessary terminal
documentation posted near terminals, remove them; it confuses the hell out of
moronic first year students.
Still more fun? Put a big slash in the big huge wide ribbon of that line
printer; it will wear out and break shortly, but while you are not around.
Go to the paper stack behind the printer and rubber-stamp whatever you want
on every sheet in the stack, like "the lab instructor is a known faggot" or
something to that effect. Better yet, steal a BOX of paper, and have this
sort of thing offset printed onto EVERY sheet in the 4000 in the box.
Ah, yes, back to the terminals. Have you ever noticed the "SETUP" key on
VT-100 and VT-220 terminals? You can have endless phun with these guys; make
the screen 132 columns so it looks really retarded, or make it
black-on-white text, or both. Enable a foreign character set, too. For REAL
laughs, change the baud rate of the terminal. Most terminals support MANY
different baud rates; from 50 up to 19200. Usually a terminal will be set by
university techs to 9600 baud; change it to 50 baud. Change ALL the terminals
to 50 baud; 1st year geeks especially will wonder why the computer is so damn
slow!!!
Alternatively, leave the "receive" speed at 9600 baud so the computer's
output looks normal enough, but set only the "transmit" speed to 50. The
terminal will not be able to keep up with good typists at this speed, and
will cause *MANY* dropped characters.
Another interesting thing to do to terminals is plug up the vent slots with
bubble gum, Krazy Glue, or whatever, and see how fast the terminal melts
itself from overheat.
Lastly, hacking user accounts is always fun. How to do this is another story
for another file, but WHAT to do when you get there is almost unlimited. Do
things like send pornographic email to all the female students (and faculty!)
or make "minor" changes to the docs that accompany student programs...like
have them say what a wank head the prof is or what a gay assignment that was
or whatever. Using up a whole lot of other people's computer time is also a
gas. Get online to some moron's account, and dial out to decent pirate boards
nationwide. Take a whole lot of files at 12 or even 2400 baud and print them
up on the hi-speed line printer. That's how to get a whole lot of files,
really quick and free.



- The Library, ah yes, the Library, probably the favorite college prankster's
grounds. God, the things you can fuck up here...
Let's start with stacks of books. If you see a study carrel with a mess of
someone's belongings in it, place a library book in the middle of his/her/its
texts so he/she/it doesn't notice. If your library has electronic theft
detection (and what library doesn't?) then the sucker will get beeped at by
the alarm and get into a whole mess of trouble.
Rearranging the card catalog into a random order has always been a favorite,
and it still gets great results (Russian Poetry in the middle of all the
Nuclear Physics cards???)
Also, taking cards out, and re-typing them with phony info about its Dewey
number or Library of Congress number, is always fun. Replace the cards, of
course, but only the re-typed ones. Also, change the dates of old books to
this year; people will expect a nice new easy-to-read book and will get
beat-up falling-apart old heaps of shit. Or, you can "help" make new books
older very quickly...
Back to study carrels. Place water on these, so papers get wet and ink runs.
Or syrup, the stickiness will drive people NUTS. Take a knife and create
various trenches and pits in the surface of these, so that it is impossible
to draw a straight line against them.

HOW TO STEAL BOOKS:
OK, you know those damn electronic theft detectors I mentioned? Well, they
only have those at the door, so what you do is open a window, and throw
whatever books you want outside, with an accomplice out there to help catch
them so you don't fuck them up or leave a suspicious-looking pile of books
lying outside. It's best to do this after dark, for two reasons: (a) Because
at later hours there are fewer library attendants to catch you in the act,
and (b) so that your accomplice is not flagrantly obvious in broad daylight
as he catches books falling from the sky...



--------------------------------------------------------[ May 22, 1990 ]-------
Pranks, Revenge, and General Mayhem Another "no stupid group" Phile
______ ________ __________
\ \ / \ \ / | | (C) 1990 The Fixer
\ \/ \ \/ | |
\ /\ /| | This Volume: More Phone Pranks
\ / \ / | |
/ \ \ / | | THC....................+1 604 598-4259
/ \ \ / | | Dark Side of the Moon..+1 408 245-7726
/ /\ \ \ / | | Centre of Eternity.....+1 615 552-5747
/_____/ \_____\ \/ |_____| The Convent............+1 619 475-6187
_______________________________________________________________________________

Preface: On May 9th, 1990, one of my users (of THC-BBS) called the Ripco BBS
in Chicago, only to hear this voice message:

"This is 528-5020.

As you are probably aware, on May 8th, the Secret Service
conducted a series of raids across the country. Early news
reports indicate that these raids involved people and
computers that could be connected to credit card and long
distance toll fraud. Although no arrests or charges were made,
the Ripco BBS was confiscated on that morning. Its
involvement at this time is unknown. Since it's unlikely the
system will ever return, I'd just like to say goodbye and
thanks for your support for the last six and a half years.
It's been interesting to say the least. Talk to you later."

On behalf of THC, I would like to applaud Dr. Ripco on his
running Ripco for 6.5 years, and express the condolences of
myself and THC's users at the loss of Ripco's hardware. It's
been interesting, to say the least.

The Fixer, May, 1990

DOWN TO BUSINESS: Fucking over your best friends, worst enemies, and
k00lest d00dz with their telephones.

Answering Machines
------------------

There are several methods of ruining your friends' lives via their
answering machines. You can fill their incoming message tapes
with bogus messages, you can turn them on/off remotely and
hear/erase all the messages, and in some beauties, you can
change the outgoing message. The latter is the most devastating
of all answering machine methods, and it will get the most space
here.

- Most answering machines today have "beeperless remote" features, even
in the bargain-basement models. Normally they are protected by a
security code of between 1 and 3 digits, and quite often even the
3-digit ones are so easily cracked it's disgusting. Once "inside" an
answering machine, you can do a number of things. Always, you will be
able to hear, and later erase, any incoming messages. This is helpful
to the prankster in that it lets him intercept his target's important
messages, indicating the target's future whereabouts for later
attacks. It also, of course, can be used to prevent the target from
receiving important messages, with possible dire consequences to the
target's social/work life.

- Another interesting feature of many answering machines is the ability
to change the outgoing message. When I bought my own unit, the last
thing I asked the salesman was, "Can you change the outgoing message
from remote?" As soon as he said "No" I bought it. That's how you
should shop for answering machines too, as is about to become clear...

A few messages to replace a target's answering message with:

Blackmail messages:

"Hi, you have reached Wayne's House of Drugs. Currently we have Home
Boge, Mexican redhair, Black hash from California, crack and Ice in
stock. Please leave your name, phone number, and the amount and kind
of poison you need and I'll get back to you. Thanks and Party Hardy!
BEEEEEEP"

"This is The Installer's Codeline. Here are this weeks codes: 604 385
9682 0194. 604 477 9980 6682. 604 727 4432 8282. These are all BC
Tel Calling Cards. Please leave your codes at the tone. BEEEEEEEEP"

A slightly less malignant blackmail message:

"Hi, this is the Silva Residence. No one can come to the phone right
now since we're having our nightly session of hot steamy gay family
orgy fun. As soon as we get out of the shower, we'll call you back.
See ya later, you hunk of man-meat you! BEEEEEEEP"

For a machine in a doctor's office:

"You have reached Dr. Jones' office. We are sorry, but this office is
closed due to a pending malpractice suit. Thank you for calling.
BEEEEEEP"

For a known police informer (to wit: a NARC):

"This is the Sidney RCMP. There is no-one in the station to take your call
right now. If this is an emergency, officers are available at the
Sidney Donut Shoppe, at 656-4983. BEEEEEEEEP" (The above blackmail
messages also work well for narcs)

Universally useful:

"This answering machine accepts all collect calls. (10 second pause
while operator does her thing) Here are this weeks codes: (etc etc
etc)"

Here's something I have never tried, tell me if it works for you:

Send your mark's machine several seconds of 2600 Hz and the
appropriate MF coding for a nice faraway lame BBS or something, as the
outgoing message. Then advertise (anonymously) on some other faraway
BBSes the existence of a new BBS with no download ratios, 25,000
files, etc etc etc. What happens is that when someone calls LD (and
they will), the answering machine will start blue boxing. The phone
company will not be pleased.

I'm sure you can think of a lot more.

- Here are a few hints and pointers: My ex-roomie, a consummate
dick-head worthy of everything he has gotten in the process of beta
testing these pranks (as a matter of trivia, he's the Wayne in Wayne's
House of Drugs) has a nice Cobra answering machine. Well, not only
did he pay 3 times for his machine as much as I paid for mine, but his
has only a wimpy one-digit code (it's 5) and lets you change the
outgoing message from remote. Other answering machines have a 2 or 3
digit combination but actually accept ANY digit on the row or column
of the "actual" code number, thus bringing the number of possible
codes down to near-zero. Still other machines have stupid codes like
123, 369, etc (some of those are the previous kind). Almost all
answering machine codes are hardcoded; I have seen dip-switches and
PC-mounted rotary switches allowing owners to change their codes at
will, but these beauties are rare, fortunately. The best thing you
can do is acquire a library of users manuals for various machines to
learn their code conventions and instruction sets. This can be
readily accomplished by hanging out in department stores etc that sell
the things.

There is no Canadian Law explicitly dealing with answering-machine
tampering, but all of these pranks can lead to your being charged with
common mischief at the least. Caveat Trickstor.

Linemans' Handset Methods
-------------------------

Please don't refer to a homebuilt lineman's handset as a "bud
box", "brown box", "beige box", "tan box", "modu box", "terminal
box", or anything else so lame. There is no technical wizardry
in ripping the mod plug off your phone and replacing it with
'gator clips. If you can get a real handset, do so because they
are specially ballasted to allow near-silent line interception
whereas modified Flip-fone ]['s will always generate a nice
clunk on the line when you attach, and often will even tinkle
the bell on phones in your target's house.

Using a handset to do nothing but place phree phone kawlz is
lame; the true misanthrope phreak knows the true power of his
tool.

- Custom calling! It's been said that the only person you can't prank
is someone who lives in a cave as a hermit. And it's true in
phoneland too, the more services your target subscribes to, the easier
it is to have phun with his miserable little life. Take call
forwarding. If your mark has this most useful of services, you've got
it made. Goto your target's phone terminal box-ette on the side of
his house one fine sunday morning (revenge on the Lord's Day is no
sacrilege to an anarchist) at 4:30, clip on your awesome modu-box, and
try a few of these little gems:

:Forward all his calls to 911, the police or Fire Dep't.
Guaranteed results at the very first incoming call.

:Forward calls to Dial-A-Prayer, Dial-A-Meditation (we have a
great Sri Chinmoy recording in Victoria, BC, at 604-595-2721).
I used to do this with my own line sometimes, it really fucks
incoming callers minds up.

:Forward calls to yourself. Risky, but if your mark doesn't
have an answering machine you can use your own machine to use
the above-mentioned Answering Machine methods.

:Forward calls long-distance. In 604, calls that are forwarded
long-distance are paid for by the forwarding party, i.e. your
target. It should work the same in many other area codes too,
call your local telco customer service rep to find out. This
can have horrible implications...

:...if you forward those calls to a BBS, or better still a
code-line and advertise your mark's number as the "new local
node for the MegaLeech AE".

:Forwarding to a 1-900 or 1-976 dial-it service works well too.
Since most of these are voice-only, it is very easy to program
a large number of people to start calling your mark on short
notice, and the target gets stuck with the bill.

:Forwarding to your phone comany's local security office is a
sign of true arrogance on your part, as everyone gets hosed. Do
it sometime.

:Forward calls to a number that is not in service. Effect is
self explanatory.

:Set your own (or another target's) call forwarding to forward
to your primary target. Then have the target's forwarding set
to your own number (or the secondary target). Can you say
endless forwarding loop? Be warned that some phoneco's have
gotten wind of this concept and installed anti-loop safeguards.

:Forward calls to just about anything offensive and
blackmailable, gay sex lines, the Nazi Party, the KKK, the
Jehovah's Witnesses, need I get graphic?

:Forward to voice-mail systems. These are great as most will
record MF tones so the abovementioned
blue-boxing-answering-machine trick will work, in a roundabout
way, via forwarding. They also let you wash your hands clean
of any answering-machine/forwarding combos you pull.

Electrical Fun
--------------

As any phone freak worthy of his k-bud box knows, telephones
require certain specific voltage levels in order to operate.
Run them too far below these voltages, and they crap out and
die. Run them too high, and they blow up and melt.

- An old trick, but it has been such a great standby for tricksters, no
phone tricks file is complete without it: Drive to your target's
residence (4:30 AM on a sunday is definitely the best time for this).
Have an accomplice keep the motor running and the car door open. Head
on up to that trusty little grey box on the side of Mr. Victim's
house, and attach the 'gator clip ends of your "suicide plug" to the
phone terminals. Now, I sure hope you brought a LONG suicide plug
because it is likely that the only outside 120VAC outlet on the house
is on the other side. Murphy's law applies to revenge just as in any
other walk of life so be prepared. Now, when you plug that suicide
plug into Mr. Outside Outlet on Mr. Victim's house, the effect will be
immediate and striking: Every phone in the house will ring loudly and
violently. Older mechanical phones might survive having 110 VAC
running through them continuously for several minutes, but electronic
phones and especially MODEMS will be destroyed. You run the risk of
being charged with arson if you are caught, so don't be. RUN, don't
walk, to your waiting getaway vehicle and HAUL ASS OUTA THERE before
someone comes to the window and gets your licence plate. If you don't
mind paying a price for your assured freedom, placing a timer ($9.95
at London Drugs for the cheapest light timers) on the suicide plug
will give you a nice safe delay but you'll miss the fireworks...

- "The Scarlet Box" was a resistor, circa 6000 ohms, placed across the
phone terminals. It had the effect of putting a load on the line
that caused horrible noise. Another thing to do is try a capacitor
instead, a nice non-polarised electrolytric can. It does wonders to
the lines bandwidth.

- How about this: Basic phone service carries its audio on a DC bias
"carrier." Transformers and capacitors don't like DC but they pass AC
just fine. So, put a cap in series on the line. Phone rings, yes,
because ringing voltage is AC. Phone give dial tone? Noooooo....
Fixer stop talking in Taiwanese english now.

- If your mark's phone terminal box is adjacent to several others, or
shares a box with others, then start connecting them together in
parallel. Make sure you match rings with rings, tips with tips. Many
interesting effects. Krazy Glue the boxes shut when you're done to
"save your changes" permanently.

Well, that's it. This file is probably 100% illegal and banned by law,
but damned if I'm not going to exercise my right to copyright it. This
file is not in the public domain. Sysops of other BBSes are licensed to
distribute it free of charge on the sole condition that it is
distributed in its entirety and with all bylines and copyrights intact,
and with no text added. I've been in the IBM world too long, you can
probably tell, but it roast my butt what some lamers are doing to decent
text files these days.

(C) 1990 The Fixer.


Within this tome: REVENGE FOR EVERY OCCASION

This time we concentrate upon revenge, and what tactics best suit the
circumstance.

AUTOMOTIVE REVENGE:

You have been ripped off by a mechanic: the problem in your car that he
supposedly fixed has come back, after only a short while, and he won't cover it
by warranty.
Solution: Between the hours of 4 and 6 AM, "install" a similar fault into his
own car. If it's the transmission, drain all his fluid. If it's the radiator,
punch a nice big hole in it. If it's gaskets, apply acid to these so that HIS
will fail too. If it's electrical, introduce a few nice shorts in the area that
didn't work on your car. Be creative but be discreet! After all, his car is
parked right outside his own house!

You have noticed that the gasoline from one particular station or chain is
causing a lot of knocking or blue smoke or other problems (maybe that's why
you went to the above asshole mechanic). You can no longer stand it when you
notice that old people are passing you on the freeway at 35 mph! Only one thing
to do here: get back at that gas station/chain!
Ways to do this:
- Place DIRTY motor oil in the windshield washer buckets.
- LATE at night when the station is closed, put a few kilos of laundry
detergent, sulfuric nitric or hydrochloric acid, sugar or other substance
in the underground holding tanks.
- LATE at night, run a hose from the nearest water tap (every gas station has
one) to an underground gas holding tank. Turn it on and leave, letting water
run ALL NIGHT. In the morning there will be water and gas everywhere, and
the gas remaining in the tank will be unsaleable.
- Use Krazy Glue to sabotage gas pumps.


THE COIN-OP RIPOFF:

Everyone gets pissed when a coin operated machine takes their money and fails
to deliver the goods. Here are ways in which you can get back at the morons who
own these machines and refuse to keep them in some sort of working order.

- Take a piece of paper, about 4" x 4", fold until it is the thickness of the
coin slot, place this in the coin slot, force it down out of sight with a
pocket knife, and chase it with a few drops of Krazy Glue. Result is that
the vending company needs a new coin assembly for the machine.
- If you can get large amounts of Krazy Glue, place a lot of it down the coin
slot by itself. It will (a) freeze the coin mechanism and (b) glue the
contents of the coin box together.
- If the machine is one of a bank of several machines, get several pieces
of paper. Write "OUT OF ORDER" on all of them, and fix them to each of the
machines in the row, whether or not they are working. Result: no more
business. If you REALLY carry a grudge, you can always place such a sign on
EVERY machine owned by the offending company. ESPECIALLY effective in an
arcade when you label 40 or 50 machines OUT OF ORDER. If you really get into
this practice just for the fun of it, get some letraset and make up a
professional-looking OUT OF ORDER sign, complete with a logo of the company
you seek to avenge. Make 1.5 million copies of this and have a ball.
- If you are ripped off by a pay-phone, call the operator and pretend you are
retarded. Ask a lot of questions about why the phone ate your coin and you
couldn't make a call, and take FOREVER. And when the operator tries to
answer, don't understand. Take about 15 minutes of a Bell employee's (paid)
time and you will have cost the phone company way more than their ripoff
payphone ever took from you.


RESTAURANT REVENGE:

Well, the food sucked. That's a good enough reason to want to exact revenge
upon these evil establishments. There are only a few things you can get away
with, but they are good.

- Vomit. Right there at your table, as loudly as you can. Stick your finger
down your throat if necessary, but make sure that by the time you have
emptied your stomach, there is a great pool of puke on the floor and
everyone in the entire place is looking at you. This will bring about many
apologies from the staff of the place, and gross a few patrons out enough
that some may make a point of never returning. Hell, if the food's bad
enough, you may even get applauded by the patrons!
- Surreptitiously place various "ingredients" on salad bar/buffet items.
Tabasco sauce in the thousand island dressing will do WONDERS for the
place's reputation.
- If you REALLY are brave and have a lot of time to burn, get hired as a
waiter for that place. When serving people, use a BAD attitude, and when
people ask you why you are so rude, mumble something about the place's
"employee training program". Or, say that you can't stand to work for such
a sleazy operation, and that you will be quitting soon. Make up a few
horror stories about what goes on in the kitchen. Sure you will get fired,
but you will have succeeded in damaging the place's rep. This is a HIGHLY
ADVANCED revenge technique, only use it if you are a good actor and hold a
real grudge.


SCHOOL REVENGE:

What do teachers and principals do that would warrant revenge?
LOTS.
They impose unrealistic deadlines for assignments, they militantly enforce
preposterous rules and impose punishments that are repugnant to your freedom
and dignity. Despite the fact that your parents are paying their salaries, they
look down on you as the lowest scum on earth. What can you do? PLENTY. Read on.

- Teachers seem to be obsessed with their careers. Therefore, there is no
better way of freaking out a teacher than to have his employment
threatened. What you can do is send the principal a letter. Allege that the
target teacher is a sex offender. There have been so many of these lately
that an investigation WILL result if you make the letter convincing enough.
Make it anonymous, because you "couldn't face your parents or peers after
what you have been subjected to". Make sure the letter is handwritten by a
girl accomplice if you are a male; at the high-school age it is not
difficult to tell a girl's handwriting from a guy's.
In any case, the teacher will have the freakiest period of his career as
he is inquisited.
- If the target is a REAL tyrant, and you know many people who agree, then
you may have an actual case against the person. Have everyone in every one
of the target's classes sign a petition demanding the end of the idiot's
reign of terror. Despite the fact that you would never rat on a friend,
teachers expect you to tell on other students, so give them a taste of their
own preaching (????).
- Schools often expect you to sit through idiotic presentations on drinking
and driving, smoking, drugs, why you should go to church, ad nausaeum. While
these may be beneficial to some idiots, your intelligence is insulted by
these suckholes-in-action. What do you do? Well, you can sabotage any
audio-visual equipment that may be used in the presentation beforehand. If
the presentation is being given by an outside group, e.g. the police or
MADD, then what you can do is, the day before the presentation, have an
older, respectable-sounding accomplice phone the agency and "cancel" it,
posing as the principal. They will want to know why and when it can be
re-scheduled to, so have some excuses handy.

Enough about the teachers and administration. What about your fellow students,
not all of whom are your best friends (heh heh heh heh)??? They can be royal
pains in the ass too. Some will nark on you, others will beat you up, still
others will try to rip you off or make you look like an idiot. What can you do
about these moronotrons?

- If you have been narked on continuously, get the fink back with the
following method: (1) After school, after the geke has left, plant some
weed or porno magazines or other contraband in the geke's locker.
(2) The next morning, right around the first bell, phone the school and tell
them there is a time bomb in one of the lockers. Don't laugh or giggle, they
will know if you are full of shit. Anyways, there will immediately be a
search of ALL lockers, and when Mr Dickhead's locker is looked at, he will
have a LOT of explaining to do...
- If you are intimidated by a bully or gang at school, place small bombs in
their lockers, activated by a switch that is closed when the locker opens...
At first this will only make them mad but if you do it enough times, you
are guaranteed to turn the tables of terror on them.



WARRANTY FAILURE REVENGE:

OK, you have bought a product and either it blew up ONE day after the warranty
expired or it developed a problem not covered by the warranty. In either case
you are screwed while the assholes that sold you the piece of shit laugh all
the way to the bank. What contingencies exist for this quandry?

- If you bought it from a store, the appropriate thing to do is give the store
a whole lot of warranty returns. This involves subtly sabotaging shelf
stock, with Krazy Glue, a pocket knife, or whatever tools are on hand. Make
sure that the damage you is internal or not noticeable so that someone buys
the thing. Do this to many units of the same item, and all throughout the
store. The returns department (the one that screwed you around in the first
place) will have a nightmare.
- Another tactic is to write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper.
Explain to the public what happened and why you will never give that store
your business again. This will cost you nothing, and the paper will most
likely print it. This is perfectly legal, and as long as you tell the truth,
you cannot be sued for defamation of character or libel.
- If you got the heap of shit from a mail-order fly-by-nite outfit, then there
is no way you can sabotage their stock, and a letter in the local paper
won't do much to them if they are an out of town place. So you screw them
through their main marketing medium: the mail! If you have read the articles
on credit card fraud, you will already be prepared for this next technique:
Using a phony credit card number (or a stolen one) order a whole lot of
things by phone, all in separate orders, and all to different NON-EXISTENT
ADDRESSES. Keep this up for awhile and they will surely go bonkers over all
the "Returned to Sender" packages they get.
- Alternatively, if you are a phreak, pick THEIR 800 number to hack the
wats extender from.
- Or get a bunch of friends together and tie up their 800 lines with phony
orders (using "carding" techniques of course).
- Send the company a few letters saying how well their company has gone over
in the Gay Community in your area, and to expect lots of orders and
endorsements (hee hee hee hee) from your fellow gays and the following
Gay Pride groups (list a few from the San Francisco yellow pages...). Or, if
you don't think fags will be repulsive enough to Ripoff Mail Order Inc.,
then send a similar letter from the Nazis or the Ku Klux Klan or the
Communist party, along the same lines. If you decide to send several to the
same place at the same time, make sure the cities in the return address are
all different.


Well, that pretty much brings to a close this installment of the Pranks series.
Watch for Pranks TEN coming soon!



The Fixer Presents
Pranks, Revenge, and General Mayhem
______ ________ __________ _____ _____
________________\ \ / \ \__/ / | | |________________
(_________________\ \/ \ \/ / | | |________________)
(_______________\ /\ /| | | |_____________)
(_____________\ /__\ /_| | | |__________)
(__________/ \___\ /__| | | |_______)
(______/ \___\ /___| | | |____)
(__/ /\ \___\ /____| | | |__)
/_____/ \_____\ \/ |_____|_____|_____|

(C) 1993 The Fixer
With thanx to JB and Turb0


I had a neighbour whose mufflerless VW jalopy used to cruise in at 3 in
the morning, waking the dead and the living with its asthmatic droning.
Worse still, this guy sometimes liked to LEAVE at that hour, taking 5 to
10 minutes to rev and warm up his old shitbox at 90 dBm without a
concern for those of us who lost sleep. When I confronted this person
with this he basically told me to fuck off and that it was none of my
business.

Seeing red, that night I followed him to his regular pisstank (a local
bar) and waited for him to go inside. Tools in hand, I removed the
bulbs from all his taillights and turn signals and put the light covers
back on.

To make a long story short, the guy pissed it up for a few hours in the
bar, and on his way home he was pulled over by the cops for no
taillights. The officer, smelling the booze on his breath, called in a
breath tester and gave him a 24 hour roadside suspension for driving
drunk. He's a repeat DWI, so his court date comes up next month...

Have you seen those nasty things they have in some parking lots where
you can only drive over them one way? Drive the wrong way on one and
you'll pop all four tires. These are usually marked with "No Entrance -
Severe Tire Damage" which is an understatement as the tires are a
writeoff.

Wouldn't it be great to put one of these where someone least expects to
find one? Like in someone's driveway, or their parking spot at work?
Well, good luck finding a real one just like your local shopping mall,
but you CAN manufacture a field expedient version quite cheaply. Just
pound a bunch of four inch nails, at a 45 degree angle, into a 1"x3"
board about 8 feet long, at one inch intervals. Spray paint the whole
assembly the same shitty dark gray colour as the pavement. Use a few
more four inch nails to hold the thing to the pavement (you may be
surprised how soft asphalt really is...). If your victim is sharp he'll
see it before it's too late, but this file assumes that part of your
prejudice against your victim is to do with his stupidity...

By the way, it's said that the RCMP no longer need to engage in high
speed pursuits. They just lay out a portable version of the above ahead
of the fugitive's path, close the road ahead, and wait for him to barrel
over it at 90 MPH. I have heard that some spectacular crashes have been
caused with this tool, and no RCMP casualties... Wouldn't it be a shame
if one was left on an open highway at night (while your victim is on his
way to God knows where on the same route...)

Well, as a lot of you know, I run a popular BBS with girlie files in it.
In fact, my BBS has been a focus of attention for irate parents and
curious cops, so I keep a tight rein on who gets access to these rather
interesting little stories of sex and bondage. This means no-one under
18, a very liberal cutoff, gets access to 'em.

Well, this incensed a few of my younger, less mature users who seemed to
think I owed them the earth, moon, and most of the inner planets along
with access to these girlie files. To make a long story short, the
little turds egged my house and wrote a few rag files.

Rag files about the Fixer. I can see you all running for the blast
shelters.

I found myself reminded of the age-old saying, "live by the sword and
you will die by the sword." There would be no nasty letters to parents,
no indirect wardialing, no credit card frames, no stinkbombs in the
unsuspecting urchins' lockers. They lived by the sword, and as Ghod is
my witness they died by the sword when I took one of my raunchier
homosexual bondage stories and replaced the names of the main characters
with the names of these little r0desters. In fact several editions were
made, one for each kid, each with the kid's name being used for the
submissive ram-ee. Nice little stories about anuses and baseball bats,
you understand, where the kids were catching, not pitching.

Each of these files was sent, by fax, using a fax card programmed with a
bogus header, to each kid's parents at work. The headers indicated the
source of the fax as being the father of the most obnoxious of my marks.
One was faxed to the kid's school, and the dominant character was the
kid's principal. THAT story's probably true...

Two of them no longer have access to their computers and likely won't
again until they reach adulthood and move out. The rest are strangely
quiet lately...

"Bunny Lust" would be a good alternative, as most non-modeming people
have never seen it and it is widely available.

I've got a neat text file called "Fax Phun" which describes a technique
called the "Moebius Fax." It's basically several sheets of black paper
taped together in a big loop and fed into the fax machine (taped
together once in the machine) to form an endless loop. I've done this
before and the first thing I want to say is that it DOES piss people
off. However, it's not perfect because the loop will almost certainly
go out of alignment or will jam or some mickeymouse shit like that. The
call would then be aborted before you got the REAL effect you wanted -
the ruination of an entire roll of fax paper!

However, the advent of cheap Fax Cards has brought about a new kind of
Moebius Fax. It's not really "endless" but you CAN make it VERY LONG.
Just concatenate a bunch of copies of "Bunny Lust" or whatever together
to make a HUGE text file. We're talking megabytes here. Gigantic.
Enough to empty a fax roll. Set up your Bitfax software to send this
textfile by fax to your victim. Make sure you have lots of disk space
as the intermediary file Bitfax will create will be many times larger
than your already-huge textfile. Reprogram the software to send a bogus
header - maybe with another victim's name and phone number. And then
fax away. Do this a couple of nights in a row and then stop because by
then the Telco will have placed a print monitor on the line.

By the way, using the same kinds of text files as in the above fax
pranks will amplify the annoyance factor of this trick...

A good friend of mine works in a copy shop and, knowing of my rather
sadistic leanings, felt compelled to tell me just how hard copy toner
stains are to remove from clothes. Especially the purplish
multi-coloured used toner dreck from full colour copiers...

So, thought I, what a great way to recycle copy toner. Stuff a bunch
into a rubber balloon (until it's stretched), shove an M-100 in after it
and a suitable fuse. Discretely place near your intended victim, light,
get away. Your victim will think World War III has started with the
explosion and the hail of toner, and will find his clothes hopelessly
soiled...

Alternatively, if you have less tact, just walk up to your victim and
dump the contents of the used toner bin onto him. He'll either try to
stomp your guts out or just stand there stunned, piss his pants, and ask
you what constructive purpose THAT served...

Video rental place screwed you over? Have no fear, revenge is here.
The movie was full of bad spots and should have been thrown out ages
ago. You can accelerate its trip to the landfill, and through the use
of creative anarchy you can take a few VCR's with it!

It's really simple. Video tape does not like to stick to itself. When
it does, it can wrap around the very fast-moving rotary video head,
causing a world of problems.

But when you cause the tape to stick to itself by injecting lubricating
oil into the cassette's case, you will not only double the repair cost
of the VCR, you will also foul any tapes that should be played in that
VCR if the tape happens to survive, reducing their lifespans by about
100% as well!

One other thing that a friend used to do when he thought a rental movie
was a ripoff, is he used to set up a titling program on his C-64 and
record nasty messages like: "Raghead Video Sucks and So Does This Movie"
in big letters on the blank tape at the end.

Ah, Paintball, what a relaxing way to while away your weekends. NOT!
Obvious things to do with a paintball gun are snipe at Jehovahs,
splatter an enemy's house, car, and dog, and ruin feminist posters at
your local university. But, eventually, you will tire of colouring your
world with your trusty little CO2 pistol, and will want to put it to
better use.

A suggestion by one of my users is to use a syringe to suck the contents
from a paint ball, and another to refill the ball with whatever you
want. Mace, stinkum, cyanide. Even mind-altering drugs, or just piss.
Close off the tiny hole with a little epoxy or silicone (I suggest
surrounding the needle before withdrawing it) and you have one hell of a
nasty "paint" ball. Naturally, you aim for the face. And if you get
caught, well, the cop who writes up his report on you will have a story
to tell his grandchildren...

An update to my Krazy Glue trick which involved coin-operated machines:
I suggested Krazy Glue along with some paper to provide volume. However
it will be easier, quicker, and just about as effective if you buy a
tube of Silicone, put on the fine tip and just squeeze that shit into a
coin slot. Works best close to closing time so the shit can set before
someone tries to put a quarter in.

Well, that's Pranks XVIII. I'll leave you with a pleasant thought...

"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will
be a weapon, a minister of death praying for war. But until that day
you are pukes. You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You're not
even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized flabbastic
pieces of amphibian shit! Do you maggots understand that?"

- USMC Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Senior Drill Instructor, Parris Island.

Call: THC (604) 361-4549 1200-9600v32


The Fixer Presents.... July 28,1992
__ ______
Pranks | ||___ |
Revenge | | / /
and | | | |
General Mayhem |__| |__|

Call THC - +1 604 361 1464 (2400-14400/HST) 24 Hours
+1 604 361 4549 (2400-9600/V.32) 24 hours
7,000 Text Files online!

Also call The Works - +1 617 861 8976 (2400) 24 hours
Remote cDc note! Over 5,000 Text Files!

&TOTSE - +1 510 935 5845 (2400-14400/HST)
4,800 more text files!

This file contains suggestions which, if acted upon, could cause injury,
death, and global societal collapse. These are NOT harmless jokes to
pull on your family or co-workers. If this kind of material in any way
gives you heart palpitations or any other physiological condition just
from reading it, then you should abort this download NOW.

Preamble...

This is the seventeenth "Pranks, Revenge, and General Mayhem" file that
I have written since December 2nd, 1986. Yes, I have matured since then
- I think that shows in my writing style. However, it is altogether too
true that some things about people never change, and in my case over the
last five and a half years, I have completely retained my hatred for:

- Radio Shack
- K-Mart
- 7-Eleven
- Rotten Ronnie's (McDonald's)
- Most gas outlets
- Public Utilities, especially phone comanies
- Self centered assholes who think they're the only
ones who know anything about anything.

So forgive me if I keep suggesting these as targets, because they are
the ones that I myself would most likely execute my pranks on. Also
forgive me, O Nixon-worshippers south of the 49th, for some of my
strange spelling and legal references. This file was written in Canada
by a Canadian for a Canadian audience, and that's just the way it is, eh.

Nor, in fact, do I make any apology for the fact that as preambles go
this one is getting pretty encyclopedic. So now, on with Pranks XVII...

"Unauthorised Duplication Required"

==============================================================================

Addendum to Pranks XVI:

In Pranks 16, I suggested changing a victim's outgoing answering machine
message to something embarrassing or injurious to its owner. This
seemed like it was enough at the time, but in practical use, I have
found that the victim's friends will call and alert the victim to the
situation before any damage is done.

This situation calls for a bud box.

Immediately after changing your victim's outgoing message (I have found,
by the way, that LIVE CREDIT CARD numbers work best as incriminating
"evidence" on an answering machine) you need to go to your victim's
house with a lineman's handset and "acquire" his dial tone from the
service terminal on the outside of the house. If he lives in an
apartment building you will have to scope out the location of the phone
room in advance and be prepared to use lock picks.

Once you have his dial tone (test by calling ANA), call the police
emergency number, or just 9-1-1. As soon as they answer, hang up. The
police have your victim's number by now and they WILL call back. THAT
is when they will hear your answering machine message, and ask
themselves if they really want to "overlook" the fact that the line was
answered by "Wacky Wayne's World of Weed."

You have to get out of the area immediately. Do not speed or do
anything that will attract police attention. They will be on the way to
your victim's house to investigate the original abandoned-911 call, with
orders coming in over the radio to sieze anything they find because of a
possible drug/fraud/prostitution operation...

==============================================================================

Ham Radio Revenge:

Get on 2-meters and announce your victim's callsign.

"This is VE7FAG, anyone on today?"

"VE7FUC here, yeah me and the whole ham club are listening, plus our
special guests from the DOC, what's on your mind VE7FAG?"

Tell everyone to fuck off. This works better if you are parked across
the street from your victim with a portable, in case the DOC is
listening. When they arrive at the triangulated location, they'll find
your victim and his ham shack, both of which they will cart off along
with his ticket.

Hint: Phreaking through an autopatch outdial using your victim's callsign
is a sure way to attract official attention to him. Especially if
you're calling a "Live Phone Sex" line, with all the other hams
listening.

==============================================================================

More 7-Eleven hints:

* What the hell. Those "customer comment cards" that nobody ever fills
out and mails to Head Office have got to be useful for something. Write
Southland a horror story on one of those cards. Better yet, write a few
dozen. Take them ALL and send them, Southland is paying the postage!
Use all different names and addresses. Tell them you saw rats in the
back room, or that the manager had a bottle of vodka under the counter,
or that the burgers are rancid (that last one is REALLY easy to
believe...). Staff turnover at 7-Eleven is so fast, SOMEONE's head will
roll. Since Southland pays the postage (you just put the card in the
mailbox) it is rather nicely antisocial to take the entire stack of
"customer comment cards" and dump them in a mailbox blank. Away they'll
go at 42 cents plus GST a pop. Can you imagine what would happen if you
got hold of a million of these little cards and mailed them all?

* A use for roadkill: Leave that dead cat/raccoon/whatever in the sun
for a few days, until it's really ripe. Take it to 7-Eleven and put it
in an outside garbage can (the ones that say "Pitch In"). Let the staff
and clientele enjoy the aroma.

* Probably one of the most prized posessions a skilled
shoplifter/anarchist can own is a genuine 7-Eleven price tagging gun
(ditto, by the way, for Radio Shack and K-Mart, and *some* of the
following can be applied there too). There are usually several left
around unattended on stock shipment day, which varies depending on
locale but is usually the same day every week. If you can pocket one of
these babies, you can use it later to create 7-Eleven price tags of any
value. Give yourself a discount on anything you want. Don't make the
discount too deep or you'll be suspected of label-switching. Also, make
the labels in advance and stick them to the back cuff of your arm, just
under your sleeve. Don't take the gun back to 7-Eleven under any
circumstances. Alternatively, (and more fun) you can randomly give
products DEEP discounts (or inflations) in price and just leave them
there, causing all sorts of turmoil. RS and Kmart have computerized
controls which prevent you from giving yourSELF discounts, but like in
7-Eleven you can still re-tag and re-shelf items, causing lots of
mayhem, especially if someone of social standing happens to be the first
victim...

==============================================================================

I once had a roommate named Brad who slept like a log. Like a petrified
log, in fact, because at 6:00 AM when his clock-radio alarm went off
FULL BLAST, Brad slept through it. I don't know why he wanted to get up
that early, but I only hope that if it was for a job, that he was fired
for not showing up for work on time because even if my other roommate
and I succeeded in waking him up after unplugging his clock radio, he'd
just roll over and go back to sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning.
Brad was practically screaming "beat the crap out of me" and he didn't
even know it.

Well, I decided that a mod to his clock radio would be in order. I was
quite pleasantly surprised, actually. Most LED and Fluorescent-display
standard clock radios used the same clock chip in those days (1987) -
the EA7316. Surely enough, his clock radio had an EA7316. And thanks
to my trusty Philips ECG semiconductor reference, I had its pinout.

There are two pins you can cut on the EA7316 for two different effects.

Pin 25 is the "Alarm Output" line, which turns on the radio when the
alarm time is reached. Cut it, and the alarm will never go off again.
This is the route I took with Brad, and he never once voiced any
suspicion of tampering, even after he bought a new clock radio and the
same thing happened to that one. "Must be hydro spikes" my other roomie
knowingly suggested to Brad. Brad gave up on trying to wake up early
after that.

The other pins which you can cut, which I never tried, are pins 24 and
26. Pin 26 is the "Alarm Off Input" which basically is the signal from
the alarm switch when you want to shut off the alarm function, which is
how some people deal with the alarm when it wakes them. The other pin,
24, is the "Snooze Input" pin which is the input from the snooze bar.
If you want to ensure that the alarm stays on full-time when it goes
off, better cut both pins 24 and 26 (but for Ghod's sake leave 25 intact
or it will never go off in the first place!). The alarm will sound for
one hour solid, or, more likely, until your victim literally pulls the
plug or attacks the clock with a polo mallet.

When looking for the EA7316 you may find that your victim's clock has a
different part number on the chip. Philips ECG makes a clone of this
chip, part nos. ECG2060 and ECG2061 for the LED and Fluorescent versions
respectively. Look up the number on the chip in your victim's clock and
use the ECG cross-reference guide (available at professional-level
electronic parts stores, i.e. not Radio Shack) to determine the ECG
number. If it's 2060 or 2061 then the above tricks will work. Quick
identifier: it's a 40-pin DIP.

Use a good pair of fine side-cutters, because you don't want to mangle
other pins in the process.

You would be truly amazed at the percentage of the entire clock-radio
"industry" that uses exactly the same main chip.........

==============================================================================

Want to upload a virus to your victim's BBS, but don't want to trip his
super-secure virus-catching scanner program that he runs automatically
after every upload? Infect your drop program and then LZEXE or PKLITE
it with encryption. The virus will be compressed (and thus rendered
invisible to scanners) along with the drop program. Too bad the stupid
git didn't think of that possibility. To my knowledge, only F-Prot in
Heuristic mode flags self-compressed EXEs as "suspicious."

Set your "dropper" to release the virus if it is run on any date about
three months after you release the dropper to the public domain. This
will give your dropper time to go wideband. By the time anyone notices
that it's a dropper, everyone who has run your dropper will have the
virus. Instant wideband virus distribution. I'll bet John McAfee wants
Phil Katz shot for writing PKLite...

==============================================================================

Some of the really big adult GIF boards have a few homo butfucking GIFs.
If you have a colour page scanner and a picture of your victim, these
homo GIFs have a use. Scan your victim's picture, and scale his head to
fit exactly over the head of the 'mo in the "receiving" end. Clean it
up and edit it so it looks more or less natural. Put your victim's
voice number on the picture in text, with a caption like "for a good
time call", and upload it everywhere (using bogus accounts of course).
Most sysops will nuke the picture on sight, but among those who keep it,
there will be a few whose users download it and actually call your
victim looking for gay sex. This is particularly evil and antisocial if
your victim happens to be a minor, as it will attract _pedophiles_.

(Attention Cops: Have any of you considered twisting this idea into a
sting operation to nail pedophiles in the act of trying to solicit their
prey? It's about as ethical as having policewomen go downtown in sexy
clothes and flash passers-by a little tit to try and entrap would-be
johns... but at least it's more "politically correct"!)

==============================================================================

Hey, boys and gurls, it's now permitted in some areas to actually bill a
phone customer for calling a 1-800 number just like a 1-900 number. And
the services billed this way can get REALLY expensive - there was talk
in comp.dcom.telecom lately of a 1-800 number which cost $120.00 to
call! If your victim's CO allows it, try forwarding his calls to one of
these. Or use a bud box to call one. Or, if you are truly evil, have
your local PC-Board Retard BBS call it with its call back verifier -
multiple times, usually! Or submit it as a node in Fidonet. The
assumption by the public that 1-800 equals free call is exactly the kind
of blissful ignorance that an alert misanthrope is always hoping to
find.

P.s. It was reported in comp.dcom.telecom that such numbers work great
from COCOTs. Screw 'em hard!

==============================================================================

Two years ago, when I was writing Pranks 15, the state of the art in
water weaponry was arguably the Water Uzi. But now, in 1992, it is
clear that the Super Soaker family has emerged to dominate the
hydro-arsenal industry. Its long range and high power make for a
guaranteed hit and an easy getaway. And, it's only a water gun. What
are they gonna do, charge you with manslaughter? I reccommend a two-gun
suite: a Super Soaker 100 or 200 for high-power long-distance
squirt-'n'-run missions, and a Soaker pistol filled with lemon juice or
some other food-grade acidic substance that will cause severe irritation
of the eyes (but not necessarily damage - like the 'tards who filled one
with bleach and started shooting innocent kids and women) on contact.
The pistol will become necessary in your own personal defence if a
soaking victim should happen to decide to come after you with a crowbar,
otherwise you shouldn't need it.

High powered water guns are perfect for

- Jehovah's Witnesses, who stand on the street corner and prostitute
their religion like common whores. Yell "Praise Jah" as you flee the
scene.

- The creep that stands on the corner downtown and preaches at the top
of his lungs. Same drill as JWs above. Bring friends; it's no
coincidence that his buddy handing out pamphlets is a 6'5" linebacker.

- Bicycle couriers, who take a course in unsafe, discourteous riding.
Everyone's been cut off by one of these pricks at least once.

- Cats who like to fornicate outside your bedroom window at 4:30 AM,
screaming as if they are trying to kill each other (which actually
isn't too far from the truth).

- Skateboarders, whom most everyone agrees should just be shot with
"lead-squirting" guns.

- Panhandlers, who should know better than to ask for spare change from
an anarchist with a Soaker 200 and an attitude...

- Women who sunbathe topless, face down so that they don't get tan
lines but their tits don't show. On the beach they should know better.
Have a camera ready when you do these babes, but be ready to haul ass
if they have boyfriends with them.

- Protestors, peace marchers, tree-huggers, striking unionists who
already make $40 an hour complaining that they are underpaid. These
assholes are only proving one thing: They're assholes.

When going water strafing with group targets such as protests and
rallies, get a few friends to help as there will be lots of them and you
want to achieve a high hit rate before the mob starts chasing you. A few
dozen water balloons (or, better yet, piss balloons) to serve as
"grenades" are a perfect accoutrement for this kind of attack. Smoke
bombs and tear gas are also fun to bring to peace marches, but that's a
subject for another text file. Buy your friends a round of Super Big
Gulps an hour prior to the hit, and when they drink them and the "urge"
hits, have them relieve themselves into the tanks of their guns. Effect
self-explanatory.

And for fuck sakes be careful. We live in a world where 8-year-olds get
their heads blown off with .45's for inadvertently getting a drop of
water on some asshole fucked up on dust and packing a real piece.

==============================================================================

Miscellaneous Phun

- In a store with a security stamp detector at the door (a magnetic
device which detects electronic "stamps" attached to merchandise), try
surreptitiously removing one or more of the stamps and carefully
attaching it to an employee or customer's clothing, so that they don't
notice. Or just slap 'em on the back and say "Hi there... oops, I
thought you were someone I knew, sorry..." just like attaching a "kick
me" sign. Wait outside until the victim tries to leave. This will also
help you to identify plainclothesmen for future reference...

- If you can access a victim's purse or duffel bag, you can do the same
trick as above, and the first library or security-conscious store they
try to leave will bring about the desired effect.

- Write "This is a hold-up. Give me all your money." on the back of a
deposit slip in a bank. Put the slip back on the pile, preferably
several sheets down from the top for a delayed effect. The effect will
be self-evident. I have a friend who does this all the time. Lord
knows how many false bank robbery police calls this guy has caused...

- If you can get access to a victim's checkbook, you are in luck. Do
the same trick above to his personalized deposit slips ;-)

- Stink bombs with LONG time delays (like several hours or so) are great
for storefront mail slots. Just run by at 4:00AM and throw it in, if
it's timed to go off in 4 hours the place will smell awful by 8:00 when
the first employees should be just about arriving to open up. Works
better in winter during a bitter cold snap, when it is unlikely that
they will leave the doors and windows open to ventilate the smell away.
Try this at your local Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall.

- This weekend the Jehovah's Witnesses held a major convention at the
arena across the street from me. They parked their cars everywhere,
along residential streets, blocking driveways, causing a traffic
nightmare. Remember this is the same JW organization that pushes their
faith door-to-door as though they were peddling Kirby vacuums. So I went
down to the local Red Cross, picked up a "Give Blood Please" pamphlet,
and made several hundred photocopies up, and put them under the
windshield wipers of the annoying parked cars. (Jehovah's Witnesses have
a religious objection to blood transfusions, for those of you who don't
get it...)

- Attaching bumper stickers along the lines of "Gay Rights Now" and
"Queer Nation" (not to mention nice clean Red Cross bumper stickers) to
the above JWs' cars is another idea I toyed with before settling for the
Red Cross pamphlets.

- Similarly, a "please give blood" sign in a window next to your front
door will make JWs think twice about knocking. Especially if, right
next to it, is the following:

"Solicitors, Peddlers, Jehovah's Witnesses etcetera:
Please remove watches, jewelry, belt buckles, and other metal
objects before ringing doorbell. Our Pit Bull has trouble
digesting such items."

- I've never tried inviting door-to-door zealots to a Black Mass before.
Someone tell me if it works. Trying to convert a proselytizing JW to
Hare Krishna is another idea I'd love someone ELSE to try.

- Usually JWs travel in pairs, and often by bicycle when door-to-dooring.
What a perfect time to implement some of my previous files' bicycle
related Krazy Glue tricks. Just invite them in, offer them a coffee,
and let them run their spiel, while an accomplice goes outside and uses
Krazy Glue to lock their fucking brakes open.

==============================================================================

The Krazy Glue Tricks from Hell section

- One or two drops of Krazy Glue, allowed to spread along the
circumference of the pull-tab of a soft drink can, will render the can
impossible to open by the normal means. One or two TUBES of Krazy
Glue is enough to do an average vending machine's inventory...

- I have a friend who loves Butterfinger bars. So much so, in fact,
that he thinks everyone should eat them. So he took his trusty Krazy
Glue down to the local university, and walked up to the bank of
vending machines there. The one that sold candy looked like the
perfect target. He found the button that produces Butterfinger bars
and used Krazy Glue to permanently hold it down. After it set, of
course, he tested it: As soon as he put in his $1.10 the machine
dutifully expelled a Butterfinger. The next morning there were no
Butterfingers left in that machine, and nothing else had sold. My
friend was elated - the next evening he did the same thing to the
20-or-so other candy machines scattered over the campus. Unfortunately
he hadn't read my earlier Krazy Glue trick where you Krazy Glue the
coin return door shut, and come back the next day with Krazy Glue
Solvent...

- Mechanical/electric typewriters. Not the daisy wheel kind or the
letter ball kind but the older kind with a long mechanical arm for
each letter. Just Krazy Glue one letter, in fact don't even make it a
common one, do Q or X or something. Stick it so it doesn't fire.
It'll eventually drive them nuts, which is much more fun than simply
gluing all of them and having them throw the typewriter out.


==============================================================================

POST MORTEM:

Shortly after the release of Pranks XV, "The Shawn Silva Phile,"
Shawn Silva disappeared from the BBS universe completely. He is
still alive and living in the same town, but his experience with
BBSers and other computer users has driven him right out of the
hobby. Would that more people would write text files to
embarrass the local r0dents out of the scene!

FXR!

"Phreaking lives in '93!"
==============================================================================




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