OYS #6

Stats: 39yo, 5'6", 150lbs, BF 18%. LTR is 40yo. Daughter is 5. Step-daughter is 16.

Lifts: Squats 12x3@120, Overhead Press 11x5@60, Deadlifts 12x3@140, Bench Press 12x3@140, Dumbbell Row 12x5@50 Went back a bit on some weight in order to make sure my form was right.

Read

MMSL, BOP, NMMNG, MAP, SGM, SLSM, Bang

Reading

WISNIFG, The Unchained Man, WOTSM

Mission

To build myself into the best version of myself, build the life I want, and give her the opportunity to come along for the ride.

Family

I made the decision that I've been too hands off with being a step-father towards my LTR's daughter, and started showing leadership towards decisions that had to be made.

Higher Dread and Mini-Event

She had bruised a rib a couple days ago and has been in a lot of pain this week, and so I had pretty much written off trying to initiate with her this week.

I have gotten into a good habit of spending a couple nights a week out with friends. This came to a head this week where I started getting some serious shit-tests about going out with a group including a woman friend of mine. When I got back home after an evening out, she had closed herself up in her office, and only came to bed around 1:30am. She was slurring her words, and was pretty obvious she had broken her dry january and drank that night.

The next morning I confronted her and told her that I know she drank the night before and that I won't be spending the rest of my life with an alcoholic. She started shit testing me and told me that I should just take our tickets for our date that night and take my new "girlfriend". I told her she should just go with someone else, and I left and ignored her for a few hours.

She started sending me emails, telling me all the things I did wrong recently (which for the first time I saw as the shit-tests that they are). I ignored and called her out for not taking responsibility for slipping up in her sobriety.

I think I handled it well-- I didn't give in or even acknowledge her arguments as being worth arguing. I saw her demeanor change pretty quickly to a more quiet and demure one as I ignored her throughout the day. Later on she sheepishly asked again if we could go to our date together, and I agreed. Her mood had switched completely, and she was very nice and compliant and flirty.

The next night I told her I was getting dinner with a friend and invited her along. As we were getting dressed to go, she started massaging me and grinding up against me. And then even though she was still in pain from the bruised rib, we fucked. Makes me laugh at the "I'm tired", "I have a headache" BS that has come out of her mouth in the past when she really was just not attracted to me in the moment.

I'm seeing a bit behind the curtains now... how these arguments don't even matter-- just holding frame is what matters. And how the shit tests are actually a type of flirting. A chance for her to see if I'll stand up to her which turns her on.

I'm staying stoic. I've been through hell before and I'm ready for it again.

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