It's been 3 days since I got banned for cheating on Faceit, and... I've been thinking about it a lot, so I decided to write a post about it. I'll probably get even more hate after this, but honestly, I don't care. First of all, I'm doing this for myself, to open up and not keep everything inside.

My path in CS began in 2015, in 2016 I started playing the first local LAN tournaments, I was that schoolboy who fell in love with this game, whose eyes were shining, who saw his future in this game and gave it all his free time, 15 hours a day, spending sleepless nights at the computer, sacrificing his personal life and communication with friends, arguing with his parents. But I was burning and I had a goal, so in 2018 I signed my first professional contract with a famous football club in my country, with a salary of $60, a bootcamp, a coach and everything necessary to grow. At that moment, it seemed to me that everything was starting to work out for me, CS was already bringing in some money, my parents began to understand me and fully supported me... I grew, developed, played different qualifications with famous players from the CIS, shone with my name, somehow even ended up on the test at NAVI Academy, more opportunities appeared and CS fully became something that I earned good money from, even more, it was a part of my life because I wanted to win.

But even then, in 2019, certain players played with cheats.. And no matter how much you trained, how much personal time you spent and did not want to win - you were doomed, people with OBS or radar came to the server and took the slot, because of which my motivation fell, teams fell apart, new ones were formed, some hasty stupid decisions were made that affected my career and ... At that moment, I found myself with one foot in real life, lost my virginity, started hanging out with friends and realized how cool it was to not be burdened with a small amount of time because of practices that would still be useless because of cheaters ... I became lazy, devoted less time to the game and ... At one point, I met people who had weight and were engaged in dark deeds in the world of cs ... When you have no motivation and you are offered a lot of money for a small amount of time - you agree, so in 2021 I became a full-fledged part of this dark business. And I liked it, you play and earn, you don't have to spend millions of hours and you're not afraid to "give" a slot to some team of cheaters, because you'll get paid for draining...

In 2023, realizing that at this level building and connecting life with CS is extremely dangerous and unproductive, I decided to immigrate to America, in search of new life opportunities, building a life and a career, half a year in immigration, without the opportunity to play and that's it... - I miss this game madly, I want to play, train and show my level, I get almost my first salary in the USA and buy a computer for $ 4000 to play...

* I got banned for cheats.

- Did I use something prohibited - Yes, I did.
- Was it worth it? - No, it wasn't worth it, as much as I haven't given a shit about CS lately, and the bottom line is that it's affecting me now, I don't sleep well, I'm stressed and I don't have a plan for how I'm going to fill my free time... Apparently CS was and will be a part of my life, which will be very difficult to leave...
- Would I do it again? - Yes, I did, why...

Yes, because upon arrival in NA I began to understand what level this region is at now, the level of players is significantly lower than EU, a small number of tournaments, lack of time for training for teams.... Even despite this, I continued to play and believe that something would work out...
It's really funny for me to read posts now about how half a year ago someone already knew that I was playing with cheats... Lol, half a year ago I didn't even know that this would happen... Or how half of America said that I was playing with a cheater from Europe, and the fact that in America there are not enough normal AWPs and ping 125 for AWP is not ping - no one considered...

* "a small number of tournaments, lack of time for training for teams" ... Cheats, surprisingly, but in America at least several teams in the ECL play with cheats, and the players don't even worry about being banned, because the cheat is sooooo good...
With such thoughts and I started playing with a cheat, it was a regular radar that I had from the start of ECEA Advanced. My teammates were not aware of the fact that I had prohibited software, I was the IGL in the team, so it was not difficult to play with the radar and win... But due to the fact that 4 people were not aware of what was happening at all - it was difficult at times, which explains our close scores in some matches, and in some even losses... I played 3-4 games with the Radar, after which it simply stopped working, but... The logs were saved and now I flew away on a 2-year vacation.

I want to touch on another topic, no matter how terrible the problem of cheats is, there is another problem in NA...
There are people here who put desire, effort, time and soul into this game, train, want to grow and reach some level, dedicating their lives to this game...
So, in some of these teams "Where everyone tries" - there are people who at certain necessary moments stop trying, and there can be 1 or 2 such players in the team... They just get a call, and without a second thought they earn money for themselves... They don't care that they spend their time training, they don't care that other people are doing it with them... They just turn off their brains and take their hand off the mouse... No need to hang these labels on guys from the CIS, no... Americans do this too!

The NA scene is dead, not all of course, but dead... There are sooo many rotten people like me who prevent those who try to play... I sincerely apologize to the worthy people who put their soul and time into this game, people like me are a problem, but... There are at least two less problems in NA.
To everyone else who continues to say that I'm a fucking cheater, while they either play with a cheat or sell out their teammates - suck my dick.

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